Thong Girl: The Musical???

Hey Everybody, Well, I've officially gone off the deep end. In my constant quest for new challenges I've decided to put the next movie on hold and do Thong Girl as a musical! That's right, a full-blown stage production with music and costumes and flying and.... a laser show! Let me start from the beginning.
A few weeks ago I got a call from out of the blue from a lady named Kim Armstrong and she told me she worked for a laser light company here in town called KLS Kozmic Lazer Shows. She said she'd been reading the Tennessean and she spotted a story they had written about us in the Sumner County section and she noticed the part that said Thong Girl shoots lasers out of her ass. So she decided to call me and see if there was anything they might be able to help me with. At first I was confused and I told her that I'd check them out on line and get back to her. I thought about it for a while but nothing really struck me. Well, that night I had a dream about Thong Girl bending over to shoot her ass laser and a brilliant array of lights and lasers were emitted from her derriere and it was all set to music! For the next couple of days I started knocking around the idea in my head.
I should tell you that I have a pretty extensive musical background. I played music all through high school and I majored in arranging and composition in Boston and Los Angeles. I play piano and trumpet and I moved here to Nashville originally to be a songwriter. I've done various styles of music and I've also written dinner theater murder mystery plays. The only thing I haven't done is write a musical. And that's mostly because I've never had a vehicle interesting enough for me to pursue the arduous task of taking on a full musical stage production - until now.
Okay, here's the thing about the movie. It took me a year and a half from conception to finish with "Thong Girl 3: Revenge Of The Dark Widow". I used mostly my own money and I have yet to see any return, although I do have a few things in the works, which I'll tell you about in a minute. But honestly, the thought of going through all of that again and going broke was not really appealing to me. So I called Kim back and we set up a meeting with the owner of the company, Patrick Sittnick.
What started out as a one-hour meeting at Starbucks turned into a five-hour gabfest. Patrick and I talked about everything ranging from the physical impossibilities of projecting holographs into thin air to our mutual attraction to Asian chicks. Oh yeah, and we talked at great length about the logistics of staging a Thong Girl musical light/laser show. We both got very excited and from that moment on I made up my mind that I was going to fulfill my lifelong dream of writing a musical stage production.
Of course, something like this would take a lot more time and money than an indie film could ever take. We're talking renting venues, lights, lasers, talent, crew, insurance, blah blah blah. But Patrick says that there are people out there who have money that they're just waiting to dump into a creative project like this, and that this is just weird enough to catch someone's eye.
I can't really worry at this point about the money aspect. I just have to hope that Patrick is right and believe in fate and folly. I have turned all of my focus now to writing a stage show that will be visually and theatrically stunning and elegant and, most of all, fun to watch.
I'm using the script for what would have been TG4 and converting it into a vehicle for wacky, weird musical fodder, not unlike Team America: World Police. Whether this actually ends up as a stage production or a musical movie (like Team America) I don't know. All I know is I'm moving forward and writing a script and songs and I'll work out the technical details with Patrick as I go. This is either going to be a total disaster or it's going to be just weird enough to make people sit up and notice. But either way, when it's finished I can say that I've fulfilled another dream - I WILL HAVE MY MUSICAL!
Now on to other Thong Things: If the musical isn't weird enough, it now looks like there will be a Thong Girl video game! This is another aspect of the TG franchise that has interested me for awhile. When we go to comic book conventions I've noticed how crowded the gaming rooms are. The video game industry has exploded in the last few years and they've gotten incredibly advanced graphically. I've long thought that Thong Girl would play out well in the virtual world, what with her ass laser and flying and martial arts skills - not to mention her hot bikini-clad bod. So I contacted DeVry University Game Services and I inquired about possible students that might be interested in designing a video game based on my superhero.
I was put in touch with three students from Ohio and after a three-way conference call that lasted almost two hours we all decided that we were interested in the same things: money, success and fun. The guys agreed to go to work and design a Thong Girl video game. Since I don't know crap about video games I'm pretty much leaving it up to them to create a game that gamers will find entertaining and challenging and, best of all will be glad to pluck down their hard-earned cash to buy and play.
The reason I chose students is because I know these projects take hundreds of hours to design and I could never afford to pay professionals for their services. So I've found three guys who eat, sleep and breath video games, who do it for the love of the game and because they see a potential moneymaking investment. What more could I ask for?
The other big thing is I've signed with a small independent distributor called Knight Entertainment. This is not the lucrative deal that filmmakers dream of, where they give you a ton of money up-front and get your film in theaters and video stores across the country. This is one guy who does this out of his house and he lists with a few on-line companies that carry your title and make it available for internet sale. The thing that makes this an attractive deal is it's a non-exclusive, non-binding contract that allows me to pull out any time I want, with no penalties or bad feelings. This seems like a way to get the TG name out there, sell a few more dvds and maybe get noticed by a bigger distributor. And this is run by a guy who's just trying to do what I'm trying to do - build a franchise from the ground up and maybe make a living along the way. It's a win/win situation. We'll also be listed on Amazon.com and imdb.com, the international movie database.
Lastly, "TG3: Revenge Of The Dark Widow" will be showing at the Southern Appalachian Film Festival on October 13th in the Tri-City area of Bristol, TN. Last year at SOAPIFF TG2 won awards for Best Actress in a Comedy (Leah Adcock), Best Actor in a Comedy (Tony Domenico) and Best Comedy Short and Director (me). Hopefully TG3 will bring home a few more this year. We'll be at the Nashville Comic and Horror Con on Oct. 20-21st and at ConNooga in February of next year. Please check the TG website for all TG Happenings and upcoming events.
Well, that's about all for now. I'm going to crawl into my hole and start work on TG: The Musical. I'll come out from time to time and let you know how things are progressing. In the meantime, please keep checking the website for new listings and, oh yeah, the new TG comic book will be ready just in time for Christmas - they make excellent stocking stuffers! Take care and see you soon.